2023-05-31 Seriously? Last day 'o May already?

Wed 31 May 2023 06:19:08 PM CDT

Pleasant day. We rehearsed a bit for a show on the 3rd. Hashed out some interpersonal abrasions that had been dogging us. Hit a winery and a couple "dispensaries". Should be good to go for a couple months. I'm hoping the low grade stuff we acquired solves a specific pain issue for my wife.

I guess I'm just never going to feel energetic again, post COVID. There's a weariness that just plain doesn't go away no matter what chemicals I forego, no matter "how well I eat", etc.

I mean, I'm sure age is a non-trivial factor at this point. But just a year ago we were both "killing it" in terms of still holding down jobs and getting gobs of other shit done (e.g. take care of a couple short term rentals). Now it seems I have to stop and rest after every form of even middle-of-the-road exertion.

It can really mess with your mind in the early going, especially if your spouse isn't quite as affected, because it's honestly hard to believe someone isn't "faking it" when you've worked on so many things together for many years. You get used to each others' labor/endurance capabilities. And, of course, when age plays a role one tends to want to not believe it is, that "it couldn't possibly be happening to *me*" kind of thing.

Really enjoyed these couple entries:

Neuralink and Autism

The Personality of Software Engineers

> Ultimately, I think this is a personality trait both
> of the kind of people that are attracted to working
> in software and one that people who do the job end up
> developing. It starts in university: computer science
> degrees are all about having information lectured at you
> and regurgitating it in the exam. There is no debate,
> no discussion, no nuance of pros and cons -- there's
> barely any time given to ethics at all. And then it
> continues into the workplace: there's plenty of training
> of particular programming languages or hard skills
> like git, but never time spent on sharing knowledge on
> software design, writing documentation, collaboration
> skills, and most of all client empathy. In this field,
> we just get lost in our own little world of code editors
> and syntax and lose sight of how alien what we do is to
> everyone else.

I'm remembering mostly perpetual madness, complete with the need to comfort stakeholders that good progress has been made whilst privately on the verge of heart and other vital organ failure due inexplicable - and, of course, scarcely (if at all) repeatable - issues that black magically appeared in the last couple hours.

I'll will always go out of my way to spare my worst enemies software development employment.